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Cali for ya.

May 9, 2011

Here’s the rub: I forgot my camera cord to connect to the computer.

So there will be no lovely pictorial documentary of the California work-meets-pleasure trip until I return to the homeland.

But in the meantime, here are some juicy nuggets:

1. Amanda and I passed for trophy wives in our rented, fancy-pants car and big sun glasses — and got waved through the gate in the most exclusive, beach-side celebrity neighborhood in California. We squealed with delight to spot the shanties of the stars. And then — a security guard stopped me. And told me I was driving too fast.

Then she scolded, “You’re not supposed to be in here. What are you doing in here?”

“We’re just looking around!” I answered quickly, like you do when trying to get rid of the overbearing salesperson in a department store. Then she saw my baby and smiled and told me to leave. And I obliged apologetically. Geez, we just wanted to look at the big houses.

2. The shopping area where I was told that all the celebs dine and play was very underwhelming. And I didn’t really like my sandwich. And everybody kind of looked like robots — no offense.

3. HOWEVER, I will say that the Hollywood hills are fantastic and we got super duper close to the HOLLYWOOD sign and took lots of touristy pictures that made the locals shake their bleach blonde heads in annoyance when driving by us. C’mon people, we’re on a girls trip!

4. The Sunset Strip wasn’t very… well, how should I say… sunny? More like cloudy with a chance of meatloaf.

5. I had a paparazzi moment when a couple of knuckleheads tried to take our picture in an Arby’s parking lot when I was about to breastfeed the baby.  Needless to say, I put her back in her car seat and we put the petal to the metal outta there. Dang tabloids.

6. I love how the mountains kiss the ocean in Malibu. And how, in just minutes, you can drive from a congested, smoggy city to a hilly, highway oasis where it feels like you’re the only one for miles.

7. Tomorrow I’m stopping at the Starbucks where Britney Spears supposedly orders her Frappuccinos. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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